


Something Real?

by castles_and_crowns



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Post-Star Wars: A New Dawn, Pre-Star Wars: Rebels, light light angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 11:34:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13569744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castles_and_crowns/pseuds/castles_and_crowns
Summary: Early into their partnership, Kanan discovers that Hera hasn't had any experience in the romance department.





	Something Real?

**Author's Note:**

> This was sort of inspired by a delightful scene in John Hughes's movie Some Kind of Wonderful. 
> 
> Obviously, this world belongs to Lucasfilm.

_Takes place three months after Gorse_

 

Kanan hadn’t seen Hera around the _Ghost_ in a few hours. They had eaten lunch together, and then Kanan went to take a nap and when he woke up, he found she wasn’t in one of her usual spots.

 

They were currently flying through hyperspace on a long journey to the Western Reaches for their next operation. Typically during these long trips, Hera would hang out in the common area or in her quarters when she didn’t need to be in the cockpit, but she was in neither location now.

 

  _She must be in the cockpit_ , Kanan thought, as he made his way in that direction.

 

The door swooshed open for him, and, sure enough, he saw the _Ghost’s_ captain curled up in the pilot’s seat and reading a holo-novel. When she heard the door open, she looked up at him in acknowledgement and then returned to what she was reading.

 

Kanan sat in the co-pilot’s chair and said, “Another holo-novel?”

 

“Mhm,” Hera responded, not bothering to look up from what she was reading.

 

“Why are you reading in here?”

 

Hera shrugged.

 

“Is it another romance?” Kanan asked.

 

Hera’s answer came out as an affirmative hum. She still did not look up from her holo-novel.

 

“I wouldn’t have pegged you for someone who read romance holos.”

 

“What does that mean?” Hera asked, finally looking up.

 

Kanan shrugged. “Aren’t they kind of corny?”

 

“Yeah. So?”

 

“I don’t know. They just don’t seem like something you would enjoy reading.”

 

“Well, I _do_ enjoy them. They’re a nice break from reality,” Hera replied.

 

“Fair enough.”

 

Hera turned back to her holo-novel. Kanan watched the soothing blue lights of hyperspace out the front viewport for a few moments, while also occasionally sneaking glances over at Hera, who was clearly enthralled in what she was reading. It made him smile.

 

After a few minutes, Hera said, “I know you’re smirking at me.”

 

Kanan chuckled. “You’re just so invested in what you’re reading. It’s adorable.”

 

Hera looked up at Kanan and scrunched up her nose. “Don’t call me ‘adorable.’”

 

“Sorry,” Kanan said, not really sorry at all. “What’s the holo about?”

 

“It’s historical fiction about a princess from Birren who falls in love with the stable boy who tends to her family’s fathiers.”

 

“Sounds interesting.”

 

“It is,” Hera told him.

 

“I’ve been to Birren, you know,” Kanan said. “It’s a beautiful place; we should go one day.”

 

“Yeah, maybe,” Hera said absently before turning back to her holo once more.

 

“The architecture is beautiful,” Kanan commented. “We’d definitely have to go see the ancient ruins.”

 

Now, Hera looked up from her holo-novel in annoyance. “Kanan, I’m trying to read.”

 

“Okay, fine. Sorry. You’ll have to let me borrow it when you’re done though. It must be some great escape from reality. You can barely pull your eyes away.”

 

Hera’s face softened a little. “It is a nice escape. This fight leads to very little time to enjoy yourself, so sometimes it’s nice to live vicariously through fictional characters for a little while.”

 

Kanan smirked again, and Hera raised an eyebrow, confused. “What? What did I say?” she asked.

 

“Well, if these romance holos are such a nice escape, then you kind of just _implied_ that you’re lacking a little romance in _your_ life,” Kanan responded, his smirk growing wider.

 

Hera laughed at the notion. “ _Please._ All I meant was that it’s nice to live vicariously through someone whose only problem is fighting her parents because of who she loves instead of living for real as someone who is fighting against an entire Empire. As far as romance—I’ve never had that in my life, Kanan. It’s a distraction.”

 

“I don’t think you really believe that—at least not entirely. Why else would you be reading romance holo after romance holo?”

 

“I like them,” Hera said simply, shrugging.

 

“Okay,” Kanan said. “But, really, you’ve never had any romance in your life?”

 

“Well, I left home when I was seventeen and began travelling the galaxy and fighting the Empire. I haven’t been on one planet for more than a few weeks at a time in the two years I’ve been on my own, so when was I supposed to find time for romance?”

 

“I mean, you didn’t have to get _married_ and settle down, Hera,” Kanan replied, chuckling. “But that doesn’t mean you couldn’t have a little fun every now and then.”

 

“Well, I don’t consider _that_ romance,” Hera retorted pointedly. “And that kind of lifestyle is not something I’m interested in.”

 

Though they never talked about it, Hera knew that Kanan used to be a bit of a scoundrel. Since coming on board the _Ghost_  three months ago, though, Kanan hadn’t been with any women, and he really had no intention of going back to that way of life. He was really enjoying the way things were progressing with Hera. Sure, they were just friends, but they were becoming _good_ friends. And Kanan thought that, perhaps sometime in the future, they could be _more_ than friends. He wasn’t sure if Hera wanted that—and if she didn’t, that was okay. But Kanan knew that _he_ wanted that.

           

“One more question?” Kanan badgered, though gently.

 

Hera sighed but didn’t protest.

 

“You never even had childhood boyfriends on Ryloth? No kisses behind the trees?”

 

Hera shook her head. “No. My father’s a pretty intimidating guy.”

 

“All fathers are intimidating,” Kanan replied knowingly.

 

“My father’s Cham Syndulla,” Hera muttered.

 

Kanan’s eyes widened. He knew that Hera’s last name was Syndulla, but for some reason, he hadn’t made the connection that she might be related to the infamous freedom fighter Cham Syndulla.

 

“You never told me your father was _Cham Syndulla_!”

 

“Surprise,” Hera chuckled dryly.

 

“Okay, you’re right. He is an intimidating guy.”

 

“Yeah, so you can see why there weren’t any guys coming around, why there weren’t ‘kisses behind the trees’—or kisses anywhere actually,” Hera stated, and Kanan thought she seemed both a little embarrassed and a little sad.

 

“Well, one day that’ll change, I’m sure. You’re a catch,” Kanan told her earnestly.

 

Hera smiled and a little color crept up her cheeks. “Thanks, Kanan. Now, let me finish reading. I’m almost done.”

 

“Okay,” Kanan said, getting up from his seat and heading toward the door. “I’m going to go make us some dinner.”

 

“Sounds good.”

 

“And Hera—if you ever feel like you need someone to help you practice kissing so that you’re ready when the real thing’s happening, just let me know.”

 

It had been a joke—well, _mostly_ a joke—but Hera didn’t seem to pick up on that. Her cheeks, which were already a little flushed, grew even darker. She broke eye contact with Kanan and looked down at her lap.

 

“Kanan, I—“

 

“I’m just messing around, Hera,” Kanan interrupted, saving her from having to say anything.

 

Hera exhaled and offered a soft smile to Kanan. “Okay. See you at dinner.”

 

An hour or so later when dinner was ready, Hera met Kanan in the galley, and they ate the nerf steaks and grilled vegetables that Kanan had prepared for them.

 

“Did you finish the holo-novel?” Kanan asked between bites of vegetables.

 

“Yes!” Hera exclaimed. “It was so good.”

 

“Good. I’ll have to read it then,” Kanan commented. He wasn’t much of a reader, but things could get pretty boring on the ship during long trips. And why not read a holo-novel? Especially one Hera seemed to love so much.

 

“I can’t tell if you're serious or not,” Hera responded skeptically.

 

“I’m serious,” Kanan assured her.

 

Hera seemed pleased. “Okay,” she said. “Well, you’re more than welcome to borrow it, then.”

 

She took the last bite of her meal and then took her plate to the sink to wash it. Kanan was still at the table finishing up his meal.

 

“Kanan?” Hera asked, her voice sounding tentative.

 

“Yeah?” Kanan responded, turning to her. Her back was facing him, and she remained standing in front of the sink.

 

“What you said earlier about…about _practicing_ …I know you said you were just messing around, but…what if I _did_ want to practice?”

 

Kanan did _not_ see that coming. His gut tightened with nervous energy—something that rarely ever happened and _never_ happened when it came to women—and he wracked his brain for something to say.

 

Kanan wasn’t sure, however, of Hera’s motive. Did she genuinely just want to get some practice so that she’d know what to do when the time came for real? Or did she want to kiss Kanan specifically? Of course, Kanan wanted nothing more than to kiss Hera, and he’d be glad to kiss her no matter what her motive was. But still…he wished he knew what she really wanted out of this.

 

“Hera, are you sure?” Kanan asked, after a few torturous moments of silence.

 

She shifted her body slightly, still not completely facing him. “I am, if your offer still stands. I just…I read all of these holo-novels and…I want to know what it feels like. That way I won’t be surprised when it happens for real.”

 

 _So that’s what she wanted out of this._ Kanan wouldn’t lie and say he wasn’t a little disappointed, but at least now he knew.

 

“Well, you’ll have to turn around and face me,” Kanan said, getting up from his chair.

 

Hera turned around fully, and Kanan saw that her big green eyes were filled with nervousness.

 

Kanan now stood in front of her and put his hands on her shoulders. “Relax. Take a deep breath.”

 

Hera nodded and did what he said.

 

“Now, you know where your hands should go?”

 

Hera wound her arms around the back of Kanan’s neck.

 

“Good,” he encouraged, as he put his hands on her hips. She tensed a little and then let out a nervous laugh.

 

“Sorry,” she said.

 

“Hera, this doesn’t have to be a big deal.”

 

“You’re right. Okay, sorry.”

 

“Don’t apologize. Now, close your eyes and follow my lead.”

 

Kanan watched as Hera closed her eyes. Nervous expectation painted her face, and Kanan observed her for a moment. She really was beautiful, and for an instant, he almost regretted offering to kiss her for “practice” because he realized just how badly he wanted to kiss for _real._ But Kanan wasn’t sure when—or even if—he’d get to kiss Hera again, so he’d have to do his best now even if that meant holding back a little for propriety’s sake.

 

He leaned down toward Hera and pressed his lips gently to hers. They were full and soft, just as Kanan imagined they’d be. She returned his soft pressure, and they sunk into each other’s embrace. A moment later, he opened his mouth, and Hera followed suit. He slowly slipped his tongue in her mouth, and when he did, Hera’s arms tightened around his neck. Her tongue began dancing with his, and somewhere in the back recesses of Kanan’s mind, he acknowledged that she was pretty damn good at this for a beginner.

 

After an appropriate amount of time, Kanan pulled back ever so slightly to allow them both to breathe. Hera looked up at Kanan, and he saw that her eyes no longer shone with nervousness. Instead he saw pleasant surprise. He kissed her forehead before taking a full step back.

 

“How was that?” he asked, his voice more hoarse than he would have expected it to be.

 

“Good,” Hera replied, breathless.

 

Kanan smiled and took her hands. “You’re quite good yourself. Are you sure you haven’t had practice?”

 

Hera blushed and shook her head. Her voice was just above a whisper, as she replied, “No, no practice.”

 

“It must be all those romance holos then,” Kanan commented, before squeezing her hands.

 

Hera let out a soft laugh. “Must be.”

 

Kanan and Hera stared at each other, and Kanan desperately wanted to resume kissing Hera. He’d kiss her jaw, her neck, her collarbone, and anywhere else she’d let him. He’d rub his hands up and down her body, and show her just what a real, passionate kiss could be. He saw the look on Hera’s face and was fairly certain that she wanted to resume kissing him, as well. So before either of them could do something that they might regret, Kanan removed his hands from hers and pointed to the fridge.

 

“I made dessert.”

 

“Oh,” Hera said, looking in the direction of the fridge. “Great.”

 

Kanan walked over to the fridge and cut two pieces of chocolate cake, and the two sat back down at the table and ate in silence.

 

“Hey, Kanan?” Hera said, looking down at her plate.

 

Kanan glanced up at Hera. “Yeah?”

 

“Thanks for, uh, _that_ ,” Hera told them.

 

“Oh, yeah, of course,” Kanan replied, hiding the smile that was tugging at his lips.

 

As they continued eating the cake, Kanan would occasionally glance up at Hera, hoping to glean something from the expression on her face. Hera’s face remained neutral, though Kanan thought she might have been paying a little too much attention to her slice of cake.

 

He looked up one last time, just as they were finishing their pieces, and saw that Hera had a smidge of chocolate frosting on the corner of her mouth. The sight made him feel way woozier than he ever expected something as simple as a little dab of frosting could make him feel.

 

“Uh, Hera...” Kanan said, clearing his throat.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“You’ve got, uh, some frosting,” Kanan told her, and he reached out his hand to wipe it away.

 

Hera’s eyes grew wide in surprise at the somewhat intimate gesture, but she let him wipe the frosting away. When Kanan’s thumb finger lingered on the corner of her lips for a moment, Hera closed her eyes at the touch—a reaction that surprised Kanan and made the already woozy feeling he was experiencing double in magnitude.

 

Only moments before, Kanan had made the prudent decision to end the kiss and pull away from Hera before they did something that they would likely regret later on. But now, in this similar situation, it seemed harder to pull back. She was sitting right there, in front of him, clearly willing and wanting. The thing was though—Kanan just wasn’t sure if Hera realized the possible consequences that could come from this. If they kissed again, it would be real; there would be no pretense. Shouldn’t this be something they at least discussed first?

 

So, despite how tempting it was to seize Hera’s face and show her what a _real_ , passionate kiss felt like, he removed his thumb from her face and pulled back.

 

Hera’s eyes popped open, and Kanan saw disappointment and confusion in them. They were begging to know why Kanan had pulled away.

 

“Hera, don’t you think we should _talk_ about this?”

 

The confusion and disappointment that had shone so clearly in Hera’s eyes moments before suddenly evaporated, and she returned to looking like the tough, no-nonsense captain that Kanan had come to know over the past few months.

 

“We don’t need to talk about anything,” Hera replied, shaking her head. “We just caught up in a moment. I’m sorry. I think we should just forget any of this ever happened. I like working with you, Kanan, and I don’t want things to get weird.”

 

Hera was definitely thinking clearly now, Kanan thought wryly.  

 

“Okay,” Kanan nodded, trying not to feel deflated.

 

“Just ‘okay?’” Hera asked skeptically.

 

“If that’s what you want,” he told her. “I like working with you too, Hera, and the last thing I want is for things to become weird. And if for you, that means not talking about what happened today, then that’s fine with me.”

 

Hera’s serious face broke out into a smile. “Thank you, Kanan.”

 

“Of course,” Kanan responded, now getting up to take both of their empty plates to the sink.

 

“So, it’s settled, then. We’re not going to talk about this,” Hera said, turning to face him.

 

“Talk about what?” Kanan asked, also turning away from the sink to look at Hera. She looked confused by his response for a second before grinning. Kanan winked at her and went back to the dishes.

 

Hera got up from the table and said, “I think I’m going to retire for the night. Thanks for dinner.”

 

“You’re welcome,” Kanan replied, before turning back to the dishes.

 

Kanan waited for Hera to leave the galley before letting out a massive sigh. He had done the right thing, he knew, but, man, was it a letdown.

 

Kanan didn’t see Hera for the rest of the night, and in the morning, when she joined him in the galley for space waffles, he followed her lead like acting as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened last night.

 

Occasionally over the next couple of weeks, Kanan would catch Hera gazing at him when she thought he wasn’t looking. His first instinct was to poke fun or make a joke, but then he recalled the agreement he made with her about not bringing the kiss up and he refrained. In fact, Kanan had managed to refrain from all flirtatious comments since the kiss, though it killed him to do so.

 

But seeing Hera eyeing him when she thought he wasn’t paying attention gave Kanan hope. And Kanan decided that he’d hold on to that hope until perhaps something—something _real_ —changed between them. Until that day hopefully came, Kanan would continue to serve Hera in anyway she needed him to, whether it be as her co-pilot, the muscle on a particularly dangerous mission, or—if she ever asked again—practice for her romantic curiosities.

**Author's Note:**

> This idea had been floating around in my head for awhile, and it took me way too long to get it out. Hopefully, I somewhat succeeded.


End file.
